Excerpt from My Mom's Book "True Love"
Yvonne S. Thompson - True Love
"...When the enemy shall come in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord shall lift up a standard against him. Isaiah 59:19."
"For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5."
"I was at a point in my life where I was weary from depression and tired of living. I did not want to be bothered by anyone--not friends or family members.
My husband spent most of his time working, reading, and sleeping. I, on the other hand, spent the majority of my time tending to my three little sons and my home. This old routine became so monotonous that a thought came to me that I would be better off dead.
One night after putting my boys to bed, and while my husband was away, I decided that I would turn off the lights and rest awhile.
While I sat there in the dark, I began to think about my life: a husband, three boys, and the same old routine--over and over. I felt what I was doing was unnecessary and my work was not important.
I started crying. The more I cried, the more negative thoughts invaded my mind. I thought about people who were not pleased with me for marrying my husband. I thought of everything that was not fair in my life at the time.
Then a thought came to me suggesting that I just end it all. It was the only way to end the misery of all the headaches, heartaches and pain I had picked up somewhere along the way.
My mind was telling me that if I jumped out of the window and killed myself, everyone who was bugging me would feel sorry for me, and they would wish, afterwards, that they would have been nicer to me.
Just as I got up to the window and began to raise it up, I heard a voice say, "What if you jump and just break some of the bones and do not die? You will still be alive and have these same problems." I said, "Oh boy! That's right. I would not want that to happen--not like that."
Then the thought came to my mind to turn on the gas and just sit back and relax, and it would soon be all over for me. I began to think about my boys in the other room because I did not want anything to happen to them. I thought, "That's right, do not make them die." I would just wet a blanket and put it across the floor in front of the door to their room so that the gas would not affect them. Just as I began to proceed with the blanket in the water, my husband called me on the telephone. He wanted to know how things were going at home. I tried to clear my voice so that it would sound sweet when I tell him everything was fine.
My cover up did not sit too well with him. He clearly detected in my voice something was seriously wrong. As a result, he rushed home so quickly that I could not continue through with my plan.
He did not find out the details of that night until four years later. He told me he could not put this finger on it, but he knew something had happened. He also said I seemed as if he was talking to a different person on the phone.
Praise God for speaking to both of us!" (p. 19 - 22)
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If you are reading this and you had thoughts, attempts of suicide, or harming yourself I personally thank God that you are still here.
My mom lived to be 77 years old. She was in her 20's when she contemplated suicide. I was not born at the time.
I believe that suicide is an evil spirit. However, it can be defeated/overcome.
I believe this evil spirit can transfer to your children, because it tried to kill me by suicide attempts and thoughts. I'm overcoming this by applying the Word of God and making the decision to believe I can do all things through Christ Jesus that strengthens me. (Philipians 4:13)
My mom overcame it by listening to God and applying certain scriptures from the Word of God which is found in the Bible.
You can make it, I believe you can.....